My three-year-old and his friend, nearly four, play upstairs beautifully …. alone. Together, apparently, is another story. Luckily there’s another toilet in the house.

Submitted by: Ellen S.

Lesson in parenting a toddler: just because the toddler has handled something gently in the past, that does not predict future actions. Goodbye, mandolin. You played many a fine tune.

Submitted by: Janet F.

I had just finished putting some Vicks on my sons chest for his cold. I walked out of the room for a minute and then I heard him say “My hair all clean mom!!” Seriously?

Submitted by: Julie

I was blow drying my hair when I noticed my 2.5 year old standing next to me with a bottle of empty red nail polish in his hands and on his clothes. I looked behind him to notice a lovely red trail that led from the middle of our upstairs hallway all the way to our bathroom (a good 20 feet). Took my husband and I over 3 hours to cut out the nail polish. Lesson learned!!

Submitted by: Selina D.

NEVER leave your boys unattended for >45 seconds!
“All set for our open house?”
“Yes dear – where are the boys?”
“Uh…I thought they were with you…”

Submitted by: Scott S.

Not MY story, but this has to qualify for the Most Epic Shit My Kids Ruined EVER.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/11/krasna-horka-fire-smoking-children-slovakia-castle_n_1337606.html

Submitted by: Margie H.

My husband and I were out in the barn cleaning while my children decided to go back into the house. They were inside for 5-10 min. When we came back in, and the puppy had been sharpie’d on. My daughter always wanted a pink puppy, so she took it upon herself to draw pink and purple on the dog. I guess it would be her revenge on the dog since the dog loves to follow her and pull her undies down…..Great, thanks Mia!

Submitted by: Elizabeth L.

Don’t leave permanent markers where your kids can find them, or you may end up with a two year-old Gene Simmons too!

Submitted by: Molly

We used to boast a huge DVD collection. The cases are missing DVD’s and games and the DVD’s are missing cases. Note the scratches on the DVD’s, this is on every single disk. This started after child number 2. I now have 3 children. I wish I knew about this site years ago. I have hundreds of stories

Submitted by: Tracy B.