Son creates Superfund site at Barnes and Noble

 

It’s a rainy Saturday, my wife is 39.5 weeks pregnant with our second child, and she’s begun to have contractions. They are spaced far apart, so it might be hours or even a day until we have to go to the hospital. We decide to take our son to Barnes and Noble where he can play with the train table in the children’s section. I drop my wife and son at the front door and go and park the car as it is raining.

Before I even walk in the door, my wife calls my cell and asks if there is a towel in the car. Immediately, I think “her water broke!” So I run back to the car and look to no avail.

I run into the store only to realize that an entire section of the children’s area is now roped off and the floor is liberally covered with something to absorb..well…the moisture.  Our son was so excited about the train table that he lost control of his….bladder. Who knew he had a bladder the size of a water buffalo?!  So there we have it. He ruined a rainy day play area for all the other parents and children who happened to be visiting the bookstore. What’s worse is that my wife said another parent tapped her on the shoulder to bring her attention to our son, who was gleefully splashing his feet in the self made puddle. Awesome.

Submitted by: Patrick

His Eyebrows

His eyebrows.

He hid behind the classroom door during indoor recess with a pair of scissors. He put the eyebrows he cut off in his pocket.

Submitted by: Leah

Butt Paste + Mirror

Apparently the mirror and his face had a diaper rash.

Submitted by: Will Robinson